Let me start with a story:
My dogs were about 6 months old and we went on a trip to a local pet shop. I had little experience with training, didn’t know how to properly manage and advocate for my dogs and was in over my head. This was our first trip together at a pet shop.
We had went there to buy some food, so I was browsing some brands while Yoona and Brutus were trying to chew on one of the bones on display. I didn’t know how to handle the situation and I was thinking of going back to the car, leaving them there, then continuing the shopping, when an employee approached us.
She started helping me choose the brand when she noticed my dogs. She asked if they know “down”. I answered that we practiced mainly at home. She urged me to tell my dogs to “down” in the middle of the pet shop, leave them there and come back to choose the food. I hesitated, saying that I would rather not, since I don’t trust them to remain in that position, especially in that situation.
She told me that my problem is I don’t trust my dogs and they can feel that, so they’re acting out.
She insisted I tell them to “down” and I did so, leaving them in the middle of the aisle. Sure enough, Yoona and Brutus got up and started going around the store, stopping at the bone they had tried to chew on earlier. Moreover, they both wanted the same bone and were quite insistent with their body language, so the tension rose until they were on the verge of a fight.
I ran to get them and make some distance from the bone, while the employee told me that they can still feel I don’t trust them, which is why they got up from the down.
Trust and reason:
I absolutely did not trust my dogs in that situation. Did that make me a bad friend to them?
I think it made me a good friend. I had minimal experience with training, but I knew they wouldn’t be able to listen, which is why I didn’t want to put them in that situation to begin with.
In other words, I didn’t want to set them up for failure.
Trust is an important part of a healthy relationship. But blind trust and no preparation or back up plan might just be recipes for disaster. We have to take into account our judgment and go into situations with a plan, or at least some guidelines. A lack of trust in a particular situation means we are using our judgment to determine how to make our dogs successful, because they are not prepared yet to handle that situation.
It is also important to adjust our trust according to the variables. Let’s take my example. Maybe I trust my dogs to hold a “down” at the entrance of the pet shop, but do I trust them to do so near the food? What if a group of people come inside? What if a dog comes inside? What if an employee takes a bird out of its cage and starts showing it to a customer?
So again, we have to use our judgment and take into consideration the possibility of certain events happening and how we can act to keep our dogs being successful.
A lack of trust is not just that. While I choose to not trust, I am actively using judgment and reason to assess the situation appropriately.
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